It’s easy to look at people you might fancy and be fearful to talk them as they seem to be “out of your league.”   Here are some tips to overcome this.

1) Forget about leagues – there’s no reason why a ten can’t date a five if they are both getting something out of the relationship. it’s not all about looks. Everyone has different things to offer.  If it’s not looks, perhaps you can make people laugh, play the guitar or bake a fantastic cake. Work out what you have going for you and make the most of it!

2) Don’t swoon too soon.  Pretend that you’ve not noticed how wonderful they all to start with.  They’ll work harder if they don’t think you are impressed!  High league people want you to appreciate their less obvious qualities too.

3) High League people rarely get chatted up as everyone else is scared to approach them.  Go up and say hello. They’ll admire you for your courage and positive attitude.

4) Always be the best “you” possible.   If you make sure you always wear your best clothes and look well groomed you’ll instantly become more confident and up your social standing.  Confidence is sexy and stands out a mile!

5) The most important part of going for the people you want is refusing to go for the people that you don’t!  So, from now on, you only approach the ones you are attracted to. It really is this simple – If you want to play in the major leagues, you’ve got to stop wasting time with the minors!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.datinginsecret.com

There’s been a lot of Media Coverage recently on the hot topic of “Cougar Dating.”

As the Dating in Secret Dating Coach I thought I’d let you know my thoughts on the issue.

Firstly, for those who don’t know, Cougar Dating is where an older woman dates a much younger man.  This trend has come into the public light by such celebrities as Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston and Sam Taylor-Wood.
The reality of this is that it’s just not happening as much as the media likes to make out.  Unless the woman is very attractive and has looked after herself then she’s really not going to be getting a toyboy….at least not for long.    A Cougar Relationship is fine for a quick fling or when it’s mutually beneficial but it doesn’t usually lead to anything long term.   These cougar’s “cubs” are more likely to enjoy being taken out and treated to clothes, meals, evenings out etc.   They might also like a more experienced woman but they won’t sleep with them unless they have something amazing to offer.
The same goes for older men and younger women.  Unless they have the looks of George Clooney, the wallet of Peter Stringfellow or an amazing personality then the girls aren’t going to be going near them.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking it’s better to be realistic.  Most men date women around three to five years younger than themselves and aren’t that interested in older women.  Likewise,  younger women are going to be looking for a partner who is just a few years older.

So don’t set yourself unrealistic expectations and only target people who you have a chance of getting interest from.    You could be getting lucky rather than wasting your time wondering why things aren’t going anywhere!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.datinginsecret.com